With that said....this is what we expect from you....
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of
a meatless diet, or prohibiting the free exercise of the consumption of tasty morsels; or abridging the freedom of meowing, hissing, scratching; or the right of puddy-tats to day long naps at their leisure where ever they choose, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free
State, the right of the puddy-tats to keep and bear claws and fangs at their whim, shall not be infringed.
No other puddy-tat or unwelcome rodent, shall at any time be quartered in any house,
without the consent of the puddy-tat of rank and position; no excuses sucker.
The right of puddy-tats to be secure in their persons, houses,
trips to the vet, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures,
shall not be violated (that includes thermometers); and no Warrants shall be issued, to hell with probable cause (ya know we are innocent and would never do anything wrong). And if anything is to be seized, it better be an unwanted rodent, or nasty fur ball.
No puddy-tat shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise
infamous crime (it has already been said that we can do no wrong);
nor shall any puddy-tat be subject to any kind of reprimand for the same offense twice; nor shall be compelled to be a witness against him or herself (ya know we would never admit a thing anyway), nor be deprived of life, liberty, or a clean well lit place; get with the program....sheesh!
At the sole whim of any puddy-tat, at anytime, there is to be love and affection, and lots of petting.....
Special treats of our liking, of not less than once a week...the more the better, and remember variety. Don't make us have to remind you!
Excessive inattention shall not be tolerated, nor excessive noise, nor punishments of any kind.
The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be
construed to deny or disparage others retained by puddy-tats, (that means we can pretty much do as we please, sucka; and no more Jerry Springer, get a job).
The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited to it by the States, are reserved for puddy-tats; and ya can best believe anything we forgot to mention will be voiced loudly and at the most inconvenient time, as the fancy strikes us...